Gimme a Break, Gimme a Break...

I'm back in Chicago now, and it's strange being back here. It's weird being in a place where it is cold again, where it isn't really all that sunny, and where most of the trees are still just gigantic, twisted brown hands reaching their split, naked fingers to the sky. I'm looking outside right now, and I can see smoke rising from the chimney in the house across the street, wafting away like my breath does when I venture outside. The smoke is gray, but so is the whole block, the whole sky. It makes sense that it vanishes so fast: after all, it's joining up with more of the same.

I'm sad that I'm not happier to be home, because I feel like I should be happier to be here, or at least, not upset about being back. I hope it will get better over the next few days, when more people I know will be coming back, and I'll be able to get out of the house. I'm sad that I've been home for only 24 hours and I am already looking forward to getting away. I don't understand, but I guess that really isn't anything new. I really need to find something to do this summer though -- I can't imagine being stuck here. I should have been on that much earlier. Oops.

But the good news is I have lots to look forward to when I get back from Spring Break: new classes, sunshine, all the amazing people I miss already...

It will be good, and for that I am glad. Or at least, for that I will try to be glad when my stomach stops feeling so heavy, when my head stops hurting. That sounded really stupid. I'm sorry. New idea.

Actually, I think I am going to stop writing now. I'll try and write again when I can produce something more cohesive than this, which might as well be a bunch of Twitter entries mashed together. Oh well. 

I guess I will do what I always do, and just curl up on my bed with a book, or a notebook and a pencil, or a black stare at the ceiling. I hate that that is what I always do. Once again, I'm so original. 

OK. I have probably wasted too much of your time already. I will try and write again when I won't produce any more of this mess. 

Peace.